maybe we were meant to be

I caused alarm last evening. Maybe I don’t deserve you and I’m not good enough. You deserve someone whose love makes you feel like you are on vacation and at home at the same time. I know I’ll do my best to be. You deserve someone who has a life filled with passion and purpose and still makes time for you b ecause he want to. I know I’m not perfect and I have a flawed past. You deserve someone who doesn’t expect you to be perfect and loves you in spite of, not despite of all of your imperfections. I know the only thing I have to offer is my unconditional love. You deserve someone who is capable and willing to have those difficult conversations as life is full of them and believes wholeheartedly that you can get through whatever comes your way. Together. I know I’m not the best you can have. You deserve someone who allows you to show up exactly as you are and feel whatever it is you are feeling in any given moment and doesn’t try to “fix” you because he knows that you ...

I found love and peace in you. I have to admit that it feels scary sometimes because I wonder if this feeling might be taken away from me. This feeling of happiness and comfort in you. I love you for your honesty. For never falling short on your promises to me. I’ll do the same. I’ll show you that it was a mistake and I’ll work through it with you. You say I taught you how to love, but the truth is, you showed  me  how to love. It’s my dream being with you. Loving each other so much that we light up the world. That’s how you make me feel. And I’m the luckiest & happiest. 

Had you on my mind when I chanced upon this earlier today in my ride Guess the saying your mind seeks for what your heart yearns for rings true. It serves Chinese BBQ. Beijing here I come in 20 P.S. You are always on my mind

I get way too excited about the thought of seeing you again. We have been counting down the days until it is going to happen.  I have been having practice conversations inside of my head so I know exactly how to express myself when we come face-to-face. I’m always excited about your responses to my messages. I will test how well I know you. I will continue our conversation inside my head before it actually happens. When I wake up in the morning, you are the first thought in my head. You are the reason I grab my phone and check to see if I have any missed messages during lunchtime or whenever I’m grabbing a coffee in the pantry. You make me excited about living.  And I hope you are excited to see me, too. Counting down. To 21...

I trust you. I always knew I could and now I’m sure.  I’ll show you who I am when no one else is around. I’m ready to tell everything you want to know while picking my nose and scratching the itch on my butt . <You must be smiling> I trust you to be my soulmate. So I can share everything. So I can trust you with my deepest desires and share my life with you. I want you to be the person I run to when I need to feel understood. In work. In life. I want you to be my confidant so I can have the privilege of being that person for you too. I want to be your person. I want you in my life for the rest of mine. I want to make you feel safe.  I trust you. I’ll put you first and give you my undivided attention whenever I’m missing you.  This is me being real with you.  This is me wanting to keep that smile of yours for the rest of my life.

Loving you is like riding a bicycle. My car will take me there in half the time but I won’t have the winds in my hair.  The MRT / MTR may be more efficient, but I’ll sacrifice the views. I could take the bus, but I’ll be restricted to the roads.  How long ago the last ride was is irrelevant. And how far the last destination doesn't count.  Because though I may not remember when, or where, or why - loving you is like riding; I can never really forget how. I can never really get enough of saying & hearing you say it.  Welcome back from your trip and into our world. I love you. 

Life’s too short to keep love locked up. It’s too short to keep it buried in our hearts. Love should be shared - whether it’s a big or huge gesture - or something that is overlooked because its so routine. These days apart in our separate travels have shown me that it is important to show our love for all the tiny things in life that makes our day - like having a cup of morning coffee in peace or being able to find a treadmill in a farm-stay / airbnb to do some running. Like you starting a new book on America politics or me re-reading a good one on Sapians evolution. Like when you arrive at a pit stop during the drive or me head up an observatory tower overlooking manicured landscapes and be able to feel the wind in our hair, sun in our face and smell the fresh air coming at us. Like when you take the first bite into fresh and succinct Aussie oysters or me taking in the sight of local seafood produce at a Japanese market. I want you to live your days with extra enthusiasm. ...

I’ve shared an earlier article on harsh truths for Hong Kong and how continuing protests, in its current form, are an ineffective way of getting any practicable outcomes. That was then; pre 11-Aug. The latest escalation that resulted in civilian fatalities (thats how the parents of that strong,  defenseless girl would feel) have made it fundamentally untenable to remain level-headed.  I was dismayed but now angry about the ineffectual governance of your city. My city. I now accept the value of seeking for an independent commission of investigation into the brutalities.  The continued dillydallying of leaders, who made very few public appearances - and have repeatedly sent in the riot police against protestors but hardly reacted to assault by thugs emphatically, has backfired spectacularly. Its arguably hard to point to the greater danger to society now between the “rioters”, the “black police”, the thugs or the leadership. Its clear, however, who has failed the so...

... when i miss you ... P.S: no filter from a US phone :)

Day 4  in Sapporo & I honestly can feel it being a place for discovery, serenity and adventure. If I were travelling with you, let’s not plan every moment.  Let’s stumble across a cafe, a flower convention, an old temple with vintage Japanese amulet / blessings. Let’s decide to try that hole in a wall ramen place round the corner, buy a cheesy souvenir, take time to talk and listen.   Let’s ride the train, the bus, hail a cab- get off when it looks interesting. I found myself in a field of sunflowers and thought about Van Gogh and the person whom i adore who admires him :) Let’s go see Shibazakura inHigashimokoto, lavender fields in Furano ,  delight and devour fresh sashimi in Otaru, take a trip & dip in onsen in Asahiyama... Let’s be us :)  P.S. the photo doesn't do real justice as my skills are bad. The sunflowers were magnificent and i wish you were here.

Don’t get me wrong. I kind of  of enjoy the gym like I kind of enjoy getting up in the morning without you by my side. Meaning not really at all…. ever.  Maybe if there were a fire but only if it were like, a big one or something. But recently I’ve been going, at least three times a week, because the world and my aging body have informed me its a necessary evil. You will never hear me say I love the gym.  I don’t, I like it alright sometimes but most of the time I’d rather be at home reading or out doing lunches / dinners. To that end, I have devised a series of daydreams that help to motivate me while I barely manage to do three ‘reps’ of a barbell row with two twenty kg weights.  1) i wrote a famous New York times bestseller on (have not thought about it yet) 2) i’m a kick ass avengers type superhero who kills villians. Oh and i go back home to have black widow everynight :)  3) i get the next big promotion to be country COO and my boss tells ...

Things at work was not exactly smooth this week.  Things doesn’t go our way, someone gets the blame, someone else gets away.  Whatever it is – at some point or another, I decided that I either let it get me down and quit, or I can get up and work harder. You know the cliche “ You can’t always choose what happens to you, but you can choose how you react to it ”. So true. Things might feel like it’s falling apart for me but the rest of the world is still moving. Time hasn’t stopped. While i’m busy throwing a personal pity-party, no one else joined because they’ve got their own lives, problems and celebrations to worry about. I’ll need to pick myself up & keep fighting. I always do.