The Complete Joy of Loving you

No matter how poorly I actually feel, there is a thrill to the subtle liberty of slouching into my seat at the family lunch table, watching everyone going about their meals & conversations as if it was a movie. Dreaming of heading back into my bed again, even though it is only noon. 

 Heading right back to you in my bed.

I’m well enough to stand; I can talk on the phone, and I can laugh at television shows and I can fall off into privileged, fever-addled black tunnels of sleep. 

 It’s an uncomfortable decadence. Illness can become an absolute indulgence.

I know why I feel so self-conscious about it. No matter how genuinely disabled some virus has made me, I allow my voice to sound as hoarse as possible or I decline to stifle a cough, and I know why. You know.
Bcoz there is you. My ray of sunshine; knowing that you are concerned about me thousands of miles apart instantly lit me up. I want to be besides you now. I know you will nurse me back to health; nurse me back to strength so that I be naked in bed with you. So that I can make love to you.

I love you. Tell me you want to do that with me will you?
P:S Counting down to 11 with a cough

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